Missing
by Peggy-chan the anime fan
Summary: Kai keeps having nightmares about his past, and he is determined to stop them without any help whatsoever. Can Rei stop him before he does something rash? sucky summary, but R&R KaiRei,MaxTyson in later chapters
1. Prologue

Hi! This is Peggy-chan here, with my first multichapter fanfic that I've decided to finish! And it's my first Beyblade fic too, so it's kinda a first-y thing going on. Anyways, its yaoi so if you don't like, don't read. It's also kinda supposed to be angst-y in some parts… I tried to write it all angst but it was too funny sweatdrop. The pairing is KaiRei, probably some MaxTyson and anything else I can think of at the moment.

This fic is based on the song 'Missing' by Evanescence. Each line has something to do with the chapter, so I figured why not call it 'Missing'? And here you are!

Disclaimer: I can barely buy a lollipop. What makes you think I own Beyblade?

Missing by Peggy-chan  
prologue

_Can you stop the fire, you can't stop the fire_

_Can you stop the fire, you can't say the words_

Dark. So dark. And cold, to the point of freezing him. Such was the aura and feelings of his dreams, or rather, his nightmares. Dark and cold. Like his mind. Like his heart.

In this dream, the most frequent one that haunted him, he would hurt. Searing pain beyond belief would course through him like a swollen, icy river. Memories, flashbacks of his childhood, whirled around his mind, all the worst ones, never the happily-ever-after type. But there was one in particular that was constant, one that he always remembered from his past and that would always play the longest in his mind. It was so old, it almost seemed unreal. Like a grim fairytale one would tell to their child on Halloween, or like a horror story. But it wasn't any of those. It was real, etched into his heart like writing on a stone tablet and as unforgettable as a loved one's birthday. Or death.

In the dream, or rather memory, he must have been no more than six years old, for the memory seemed old, not like a movie but like a series of photos flashing in his mind. A blurry slideshow of memories without sound. In the beginning, the pictures showed his smiling face looking into a mirror as a young couple was trying to fix his hair, their faces equally cheerful. He mirrored their features and them his. His parents.

It might have been his birthday, or Christmas, or a party they may have had to go to, he wasn't sure and probably never would be, but it was cold, or so it seemed by the thick clothes. But these details were always unimportant. What happened next was.

_BAM_! Sound suddenly returned to the dream with alarming velocity as the door slammed open, banging with force against the wall. Sounds whirled around him like a tornado, blurring the images so he could not see them properly. Bangs. A woman's scream. Shouts. A shattering of glass. Gunshots. Then another scream, as piercing as a dagger. Then, a child's sobs. His sobs, which turned to screams. The pictures refocused in time to see dark, shadowed men dragging him away from the dead bodies of his parents, covered in blood. Then silence reigned and the pictures faded, the last memories of his family as a broken one, parents dead, son torn to pieces. Darkness ruled the nightmare, and it seemed to be over.

But it was not. Suddenly a cackle echoed through the shadows. It was loud and deep, dark and evil, like the shadows. It rang through his head, gaining volume until it filled him and it poured out of his ears and nose and mouth, then it pooled around him until he was drowning in the laughter of this evil being. He opened his mouth to let out a scream, but it was soundless and he sank further, aware that no-one could help him now. A new sound joined the cackle. It was his name, being called from above.

_Kai, Kai, KAI!_

Kai sat up suddenly; sweat pouring down his face and body, the t-shirt he usually wore to bed sticking to his body. He was taking quick, short breaths, his chest heaving and falling rapidly with each breath, and as he rested a hand on his chest, he could feel his heart pounding through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. "Kai," a soft voice asked. "Are you okay?"

Slowly, he turned his head towards the voice and his crimson eyes met with worried ochre. "I'm fine, Rei," he sighed tiredly, running an erratic hand through sweat-soaked, two-tone hair. "I hope so," Rei replied, still looking concerned. "You were screaming so loudly, I had to wake you up to see if you were ok." "Sorry I woke you," Kai mumbled, looking away to hide his shame. Rei laid a hand on his arm, and smiled, loosened raven hair sparkling in the moonlight. "It's alright," Rei consoled gently, smiling sweetly. "As long as you're ok." Kai gave a tiny smile and shrugged "I'm fine, really. Go to sleep. I just … had a bad dream, that's all." "Sounded more like a horror movie was playing in your head, the way you were shrieking," his teammate joked, grinning. Kai shrugged and looked down, smile fading. "Was it the same dream you had last night, when I had to wake you up then?" Rei asked, noticing the look of fatigue resting in the bags under Kai's eyes. "Yes it was," Kai whispered softly, the screams still echoing in his mind. "Do you want to tell me about it?" Rei continued, a glimmer of hope sparkling in his eyes that begged Kai to open up to him.

Kai thought about the proposal. He knew he could tell Rei anything and he'd always keep it a secret. Rei was his best friend, and even if he wasn't, he always kept secrets. But did he really want to burden Rei with so many problems? He didn't want Rei to constantly fret over his troubles like a mother. It would stress him out and he didn't want Rei constantly worrying over him. He wouldn't be as happy as he usually is once he found out. And Kai hated seeing Rei upset. So there was only one ting he could do…

Slowly, as if it hurt him to do so, he shook his head no.

Rei sighed sadly. He had expected Kai to decline, but disappointment was still alive in his eyes. "You sure?" Rei half begged hopefully. "You'll worry," Kai said simply, his eyes hidden by messy slate spikes. "No I won't!" Rei protested, pouting. "Curiousity killed the cat," he shot back, smirking as he flicked Rei's nose. "Shut up!" his friend whined, but he was smiling and gave Kai a nudge as he spoke. "Well now that you're better, I think my work here is done."

"What work?" Kai snorted, ruby eyes twinkling mischievously. "I know you care," Rei taunted, sticking out his tongue. "Whatever. Now go to sleep, you've got training in the morning," Kai waved him off. Rei groaned and got up. "Yes, oh captain," he answered mock saluting him and getting up. He marched to his bed and hopped in. "G'night Kai."

"G'night Rei," he sighed and lay down, rolling over to try to get some sleep. But as he closed his eyes, the images of his parents' corpses flashed into his mind's eye and the screams echoed louder in his head. Mentally screaming as well in frustration, Kai rolled onto his back and got up. For the third time this week, he couldn't sleep. He wished he could do something about these nightmares plaguing his existence. But how could he stop the pain? How could he prevent these nightmares? How could he stop the fire?

He reached under the pillow of his bed, taking out a Swiss army knife, and walked out of the room he and Rei shared. He walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind him and keeping the light off, so that the only guide he had was the midnight moon. He flicked open the knife and raised it in the air, aiming for his wrist. The blade glinted dully in the full moon, and he struck, relishing in the sight of his life-giving blood, pouring out of his wound.

_TBC…_

Peggy: FINALLY! I took forever to type this and I wasn't even really sure if I wanted to post it in the first place. But my friends pestered me, so finally I have posted it! Arigatou AJ, Shilly, Shivvy and Kerin! Now all I have to do is post the other 2 chapters that I have written so far. --; Don't count on seeing an update for a month or two, I am super-lazy and mega busy. Please review, flame, whatever you feel like. I won't continue if there are no reviews!

Oh, and I am a MAJOR Kai fan. It hurts me to write an angst with Kai, but this is my first one andI can't see any other character that's more likely to torture themselves than Kai...even though he's not very likely to in the first place.

Ja ne!


	2. 1 Why didn't i notice?

Hi peoples! Merry Xmas! Sorry I haven't updated for so long, but I was really busy with school and other stuff (sweatdrops). Then I had a writer's block because I managed to change more than half of my first copy (sigh). Anyways, thank you my reviewers! I didn't think I'd get any reviews, seeing as I just wrote this because I had time, but people like it (even if it's a few). Yay! Enjoy the first chapter!

Disclaimer: Yes I own Beyblade. I also own Gundam wing, J-pop, Nintendo, the song I'm a Barbie Girl, and every single bishounen known to man… err fangirl! (Fangirls appear with very large katanas and murderous looks)…. I joke, I joke! I only own this fanfic (laughs nervously and hides)

Missing Chapter 1: Why didn't I notice?

By Peggy-chan

Please, please forgive me,

But I won't be home again

Rei's P.O.V

It was a dark, stormy day. Yes, day. It's always a dark, stormy night, isn't it? Especially in those cheesy movies, where things always go wrong. Just once, I wish a book or something would start with a different weather pattern like 'a dark, hail-filled mid-afternoon', or something. But I suppose I'm starting of differently. Cool!

Anyway, I'm drifting off the point. Today was a dark, stormy day, and we were all inside, bored. I was sitting on the couch reading, Tyson and Daichi were playing videogames, Max was listening to his MP3 player and Kai was upstairs, having his daily "alone time". It was raining so hard, that we couldn't go out, not even for beyblade training, or as Daichi likes to call it T.I.T.S: Team in Torture Session. He made that up a few days ago, and the dirty undertone only proved that Daichi was a pervert, or as Kai put it A.S.S: Asinine, Sick and Stupid. We were all surprised that Kai had participated, although he's pretty funny when he isn't scowling. Max had called it S.H.I.T: Seriously Hysterical It's True and I agreed, using D.A.M.N: Definitely Agreeing, Max. This took a while to process

"Damn? D-A-M-N… what does the 'N' stand for?" asked Tyson, staring at me confused.

"It stands for Nothing…. Get it?"

Took a while for them to get that, too.

"Nothing? D-A-M……. OHH!"

When that happened, everyone threw a pillow at me and commented on the corniness of it all, or as Tyson said Funniness underneath Cheesiness Kitty, which spells…. Well you get the idea.

It had only happened a few days ago, yet it seemed like forever, since Kai had begun talking to us even less than usual. I was the only one that really noticed, seeing as I'm closer to Kai than anyone else. He usually tells me most things, but lately, he's been having these weird dreams and won't tell me anything about them. I want to ask him, and I would have been pestering him about it right now, but I respect him too much. We have a mutual respect thing going on and I don't want to disrupt the balance between us. Besides, I already asked him this morning.

Flashback

"There'll be no training today," Kai announced at breakfast today. We stared, amazed. Usually we train no matter what the weather is like.

"Um, why?"

"We just aren't," he replied, and got up from the table. It was then that I noticed how thin his face looked, the fact that he was wearing a sweater when he was never cold, and that he hadn't touched his breakfast. I stared at his retreating back, full of worry. Slowly, I stood up from the table as well. "I'd better go check on him," I said. Everyone glanced at me and Tyson asked, "… So, can I have both of your breakfasts?" I nodded, too preoccupied to point out that he had already had three helpings of food and that Daichi had already started on Kai's plate. I went to the room Kai and I shared, and knocked on the door. Even though we shared the room, I knew Kai likes his privacy.

"Come in," came the muffled reply. I pulled open the door and smirked at Kai, who was lying face down on his bed. "Thinking about suicide, Kai?" I asked. Kai rolled over on his side, and as I sat down next to him, he gave me a half hearted glare. "Very funny, Kon," he half-snapped, rolling his crimson eyes. I chuckled and ruffled his hair, then looked at him properly. He really did look sick, his body thinner than usual and his face bony and pale.

"You don't look so good," I commented. "You have bags under your eyes."

"No, really?" he replied sarcastically. "I thought you used me as a punching bag last night.

"No need to be snappy," I huffed back, pouting. "I'm just worried about your well-being that's all."

For a while, neither of us spoke. We just sat there, watching the path of water droplets as they trailed lazily down the windowpane. Suddenly, Kai turned to me and said. "I'm sorry, Rei." "It's not your fault you're sick," I replied, slightly surprised. Then again, Kai did have an odd tendency to apologise for the weirdest things sometimes. "No, not tha- never mind," he sighed. I shrugged and lay down next to him. We sat in comfortable silence, our arms nearly touching, the rain playing a lullaby above us.

"Wanna play in my hair?" I asked suddenly, out of the blue. Kai gave me his 'Have-you-been-sniffing-drugs?' look, and I felt my face turn red as I turned my head away, a bit embarrassed.

"Well, it always made Mariah feel better," I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head.

Kai bristled. "Do I look like Mariah?" he asked sarcastically.

Upon retrospect, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to offer Kai my hair as a way to make him feel better.

"Shove over," he added suddenly, tugging my plait. I blinked, surprised as he released my hair from it's binding, and began to play with it. Before I could protest, he asked, "Why don't you ever cut your hair?"

"Well, it reminds me of my mother," I explained. "She died many years ago, but I still remember her. She was beautiful." I sighed softly, as I thought of my mom, remembering her like I had just seen her yesterday. She had died of a mysterious illness that no one could treat. Even after all those years, I could still see her smile, hear her laugh and, if I concentrated, smelled her flowery scent…

"Rei?" Kai asked gently, tugging my hair. "I snapped out of my trance and stared at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked sheepishly, blushing. Kai grinned a little and repeated slowly, "I said, before you zoned out, do you miss your mother that much?"

I nodded, and he petted my head mock affectionately. "Poor Rei-Rei," he commented, only half-joking. I reddened. "Don't call me Rei-Rei!" I whined, annoyed. Kai smirked. "Mariah calls you that," he grinned. I could almost see the devil horns growing out of his forehead. I turned even redder.

"Shut up," I pouted. Even though I told him time and again that Mariah and I was not an item, he still teased me. "I don't like that name!" He grinned and stroked my hair.

"Whatever, kitty," he teased some more. "I don't like that name either," I frowned. "But you're so much like a cat," he pointed out. "Pointy ears, fangs, golden eyes... a cat has all those things."

"Well, you're a devil," I shot back. "Red eyes, a cackle, evil… how come I can't call you oni or demon or something?"

He smirked once more and shrugged. "I never said you couldn't call me those things," he replied. "But call me that in front of Tyson and I'll have to hurt you."

I laughed. "Kai-oni it is," I winked, and then got up. "Seeing as you seem to be alright now, I'd better go. I'm betting all my breakfast is gone anyway." Suddenly, Kai pulled me down by the hair. Deftly, he began to braid my hair, until it became a plait. I stared at it, amazed.

"How'd you do that?" I asked, amazed. "I can't even do that with my hair!" Wordlessly, he tied my binding around the bottom and shrugged lightly.

"Remember the time that Tyson somehow managed to freeze the television onto a picture of Duo when he tried to play two Gundam Wing episodes in one DVD player?" He asked. I nodded and he continued. "I learnt it from his plait."

I nodded again and smiled. "Well thanks anyway. I hope you feel better, and remember, you can always talk to me."

"What are you, Oprah?" he scoffed. "Go downstairs and eat breakfast, I'll be fine."

I shrugged and exited. "Bye-bye, Kai-oni," I sang, waving. He grunted, and his pale, yet marginally happier (well as happy as Kai can get anyway) was the last thing I saw as I exited the room.

As I entered the kitchen downstairs, Tyson and Daichi, who were fighting over a strip of bacon from my plate, looked up and stared at me. "Hey Rei," Tyson asked, blinking slightly. "Did you do something with your hair?"

So that's how we got to the beginning of this story; a dark, stormy, boring day. We were all hanging out, doing nothing in particular. Tyson and Daichi were playing Mario Kart Double dash, I was listening to my CD player and reading, and Max was flipping through a magazine and listening to his MP3 player, seeing as he has a benevolent giving family. I wonder what he's listening to…

"Hey Max, what are you listening to?"

"I'm a Barbie Girl," he replied, not evening twitching.

Slightly scarred, I moved away as best as I could in an armchair and settled down into it. Ignoring Daichi and Tyson, who were arguing about handicaps or something, I put my CD player on the highest volume it could go. Bonnie Pink blasted into my ears.

_Koibito ni nozumo koto_ _watch me cry,_

_Until I smile again._

I unconsciously began to sing along with the words as I read, blocking out the sounds of Tyson and Daichi, whose arguing had gotten louder, Hilary and Kenny, who had just arrived and were trying to stop them from strangling each other with the controller cords, and Max in his own little world, humming and reading _Cosmo_.

Wait… Cosmo?

I think Max has a few… issues.

Not that there's a problem with being… um… gay. I mean it's not like I'm straight… I think. I've never been attracted to anyone before, so I have no idea what I am. I've never actually thought about it. Maybe I'm unable to feel love or any sort of attraction, and is doomed to be alone for the rest of my life.

If Kai heard that line, he'd laugh his head off at me and say I'm a drama queen

I grinned at that thought. I am quite proud to say that I'm the only person in history that has ever made Kai laugh. He really is the closest person to me, and though he won't admit it, I know I'm the closest person to him, too. Both of us have our 'families' in other countries, the Blitzkreig boys in Russia and the White Tigers in China, we're kind of both alone, unlike Tyson, Max and Daichi, who live here. Don't get me wrong, the Bladebreakers are like brothers, but I still miss China, and I know Kai misses Russia too. I guess that's why we're such good friends. Because we have a lot in common.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!" a loud shout broke into my thoughts and I jumped slightly looking around. Tyson had grabbed Daichi around the neck and was rapidly shaking him, shouting "YOU RIGGED THE WHOLE GAME DIDN'T YOU?"

Gasping for air, Daichi kicked Tyson and fell to the floor. "We're allowed to use cheat codes!" Daichi protested, rubbing his neck. Tyson growled and jumped on him.

"You're not allowed to use cheat codes, it's cheating! THAT'S WHY THEY'RE CALLED CHEAT CODES!" Tyson shouted, pummeling him. They became a tangle on the floor, pulling each other's hair and beating each other's face in.

"You guys, stop fighting!" Hilary and Kenny said, trying to pull them apart. Max got up and tried to help too, attempting to pry Tyson's fingers off Daichi's neck. Daichi was turning blue as he relentlessly kicked and punched Tyson in an attempt to break free. "It's just a game! Stop… acting… so childish!" Hilary grunted, trying to pull them apart. Altogether it was a scene of utter chaos, mass destruction and violence.

I yawned and flipped the page of my book, stuffing my earphones into my ears.

If you're a little shocked that I'm not helping, then you're obviously not as used to utter chaos as I am. We're in always in or causing chaos, whether it's blading against weirdos or having a water fight to see who gets to pick dinner. Tyson attempting murder on Daichi was normal, and if it didn't happen every day then something was wrong. Remember the bacon strip? Anyway, Kai's there and as usual, he'll stop Tyson from ripping Daichi's head off…

And, it was at that moment, when Daichi's face turned violet and his mouth began to foam, that we all remembered that Kai wasn't there.

Several things happened next.

First, Tyson dropped Daichi on the floor, and clutched the back of his head, like he would whenever Kai hit him. He blinked, awaiting a smack that never came. "Why isn't the back of my head hurting?" he asked cluelessly.

Then, Max bent down to inspect Daichi, whose face was going back to its normal brown colour. Finding no wounds of any sort, he looked up and gave his cutest smile. "Thanks, K-" he started, but cut off, when he realized that there was no Kai to thank.

Meanwhile, Hilary who was caught up in the usual daily 'Thanks-Kai-for-saving-Daichi' speech, was in the middle of the part where she gives Tyson an accusing glare and says "If _some _people weren't trying to get arrested for attempted MURDER!" when she noticed that there was no Kai to grunt and walk off.

And lastly, Daichi sat up and wiped the foam from his face and began to gloat. "Ha, see, even Kai is-" but stopped when he remembered that Kai wasn't around here with us.

"Where's Kai?" they asked in unison. I turned off my CD player and shut my book. "Kai's upstairs. He's not feeling well, remember?" I replied, getting up.

"Oh yeah," Tyson, Max and Daichi said.

"What's wrong with Kai?" Kenny asked worriedly.

"I don't know," I replied, biting my lip.

"I hope he's ok," Hilary commented. "He's hardly ever sick."

"Yeah," Tyson agreed. "He may be a cold-hearted, mean, sour jerk but he's our cold-hearted, mean, sour jerk, and we need him."

"Yeah… waitaminute, Tyson!" Max scolded. "Kai isn't that bad!"

I sighed, deciding not to point out Max's unintentional insult he just said in an attempt to defend Kai. "I'll check up on him," I volunteered, heading for the door.

"You do that. Kai does trust you the most," Hilary pointed out.

Nodding I headed to the steps and went up them, having a sudden feeling that something was wrong. I shook it off, but the doubt returned, stronger than ever. What _was_ wrong with Kai anyway? He's never been sick before. He was like the backbone of us all, the strength of our group. He thickened our skin and made us tougher so we could withstand anything, just like him. Kai being sick just made no sense. I wanted so badly for him to tell me what was wrong. I wanted him to confide in me, like I do him. But he won't tell me. So I won't ask him.

I knocked on the door. "Hey Kai? Are you okay?" I asked, but there was no reply. Curious, I pressed my ear to the door, but all I heard was a slight shuffling sound. "Kai?" I repeated, opening the door. And that's when I saw him.

Kai was standing in the middle of the room, a Swiss Army knife in his quivering hand. The sweater he was wearing this morning was on the floor. There were two slices on his wrist, both oozing with blood, and as I looked there were other cuts higher up his arm all of them bleeding, the crimson fluid dripping onto the floor and leaving dark stains on the navy blue carpet. But that wasn't the scariest sight. No, the scariest sight was his face. Large, ruby red eyes, as red as his blood, stared blankly at me, almost blindly, as if I wasn't there. They looked out of a flushed face, the blue triangles that usually made his face look strong and independent suddenly making him look gaunt and sickly, dark circles around his eyes. As he looked at my scared face, he whispered, almost inaudible because of the rain, which had begun to fall harder, "I'm sorry, Rei." Then his knees gave way and he sank to the floor, the knife dropping as well.

I don't know where I got the sudden strength to run to Kai and catch him, but I did and I went to my knees, cradling Kai, who had just passed out, to my chest. "Oh god," I whispered softly, stroking his face. I felt numb inside; refusing to believe what Kai had done was real. I don't know how long I sat there, how long it took me to accept Kai's unconscious form that lay in my lap. It felt like an eternity. When I did accept it, I called, my voice choked with emotion, "Help!"

An ambulance

The two words that fully set this into reality for me. Tears that I held inside finally spilled out, streaming down my face. I hugged Kai closer, pressing me forehead to his cold one. "Rei, what's wrong?" I heard Max ask, light years away. "It's Kai," I sobbed, my voice sounding muffled to my ears.

"Kai? What… oh my god," Tyson gasped as both he and Max kneeled next to me. "Hilary, call Mr. Dickenson! Or the ambulance! Anyone!"

I was dead to what happened next. It was as if I wasn't really here, watching it from afar, or on TV. I wasn't really holding Kai; it was another Rei holding him. In fact it wasn't even the Kai I knew. It was another Kai, one that had face paint just like my Kai, and crimson eyes, and a Dranzer as well. Or maybe it wasn't Kai, maybe it was Rai, or Lai or Bai…. Yes that's it, not Kai… never Kai…

But then, the paramedics came and pulled Kai's limp body from my arms, and a terrible coldness came over me. I felt like I was drowning, in questions that had no answers. I couldn't breathe; the questions were clogging my lungs. They filled me and poured out through every orifice. I heard voices in the distance, but they weren't important, and I felt myself slipping out of reality. As the final thread of truth left my fingers, questions echoed through my mind. I thought I knew Kai.

Did I really know Kai?

Why would he do this?

Why wouldn't he tell me anything?

Why didn't I notice?

Was he ever really at home with us?

TBC

Peggy: (crying) it's finally done! It was so hard to write that. I almost didn't continue but people wanted me to so I did. But poor Kai! (Sniffs). Anyway, I'm not actually sure when I'll post the next chapter, seeing as I don't really like it that much (frowns at first copy). Oh the line of the song that Rei was listening to was a line from the song Private laughter by Bonnie Pink and it means "Lover of dream affairs, watch my cry until I smile again." I didn't realize that it fit so well until I translated it using a dictionary and guesswork (sweatdrops). Anyways until next chapter!

Ja ne!


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